Episode 11: Part 2 "Open me when you need a hug..."

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A platform for couples to share their love stories and for single to find hope. Tommy and Jenny went to Putnam High School (PCHS) in Oklahoma City together around the same time but did not date. Jenny moved to New York City and finished her high school there. 20 years PCHS would host a high school reunion for their class and their love story begins. Part 1: The couple shares their love journey. How they met and how a deeper connection was created while they were being intimate in Colorado. This is a must listen if you or your partner have a hard time looking at you in your eyes while having sex. Do you connect love with sex? Part 2: The couple shares how they make their long distance relationship work since they are 1400 miles + apart. They share the highs and lows of counting down to seeing each other ...



Episode Traanscript

Welcome to Real Love Real Stories TV and Podcast, a platform for sharing love stories and for finding hope. I’m Kanu, I'm the host and you are listening to episode 11 and this is part 2. If you haven't already listened to part 1, I really encourage you to but first let me ask you a question; when you are being intimate with your partner, are you really connected? Like do you really look them in the eyes or do you look to the side? What do you do?

Find out for Tommy and Jenny how they connected in a really deep meaningful way while being intimate and you also you get to find out how they met and how he looked at her and he said to her I want your mess. In this part 2, they get to tell us how they make their relationship, their long-distance relationship work. Enjoy.

Kanu:So I wanted to hear a little bit about some of the things, I know you started to talk about how you Skype a lot and spend a lot of time together. For the listener out there who might be in the same situation where they are doing long distance relationships, what are some of the things that you guys do that makes it you know work and worth it and how do you get to know each other I guess in those times that you're a part?

Thomas:We try to, though here lately it's been kind of hard because we've both been really going at it with what we have going on. My son just recently graduated from basic for the Air Force so I was gone for a while to go visit him, she was in Italy visiting her cousin for a while but generally we tried to at least once a month or so have a date . You don't always succeed but.

Jenifer: Yeah but that could look like you know watching Netflix or we'll both go to Trader Joe's and get the same meal and we'll sit down and have the same meals so we can feel like we're together.

Thomas:We watch the same show, we actually will count it down so we are watching it at the same time while we're on skype so that way it is close to being together and doing something as possible.

Jennifer:We have that, there's a book of questions, there's an if book that I'll say pick a page and a number and I'll flip through and we'll ask each other questions and the questions are typically like if you could have any one person past or present living at dinner who would you pick, questions like that so we go back and forth with that. We've done some really creative things too.

Thomas:You just you have to.

Jennifer:I sent him a bunch of cards which was really cool, this is a great idea for long-distance relationships. There was a set of cards and it says open me when you're sick, open me when you're missing me.

Thomas:Open me when you need a hug and what she did was she took a string and measured; she traced both hands cut them out drew nails on them and then got her actual arm length and made the arms the length of her. And so there they're hanging in my bathroom so if I need a hug I can actually just take them and wrap them around me.

Jennifer:Yeah so it was two hands connected by a string.

Kanu:How awesome is that.

Jennifer:Yeah it was a lot of fun or if he's going through a rough time, open me whenever I'm having a bad day and it's just like a long letter of words of encouragement to get him through it.

Thomas:Open me when I'm mad at you and you don't know why was one of them.

Kanu:I love that. So you created these cards yourself and these are your own words?

Jennifer:Yeah absolutely and so each one has an “open me when” you know, you just add your little things in there. There was one that said open me when you're sick and I put aspirin in there and just little things like that. So when he's feeling a certain and I can't be there for him at least I can be there in some regard and it gives him the opportunity to be closer to me whenever he needs to.

Kanu:I love that, what a very clever idea. And the idea about going to Trader Joe's and buying the same meal and you know he's cooking there and you're cooking there and then you sit down together at the table on skype and you share a meal together virtually; I think that's beautiful.

Thomas:We always have every meal together; she may eat before I do or I may eat because there's an hour time difference she's an hour ahead. We do questions at meal time as she does it with her kids and I do it with mine but we always make an effort to be a part of each other's questions. We don't always get there but a lot of times it'll be you know we try to eat dinner together you know and it's not really a date night because it's kind of it's a.

Jennifer:It’s a family night kind of a thing but we always ask the two questions that we ask are what is your favorite part of the day and what are you most grateful for. The family really gets a chance to connect and see what happened because I don't believe families really connect and our families have a difficult time connecting because we're so far apart but at least we get to hear about each other's lives.

Long-distance relationships aren't for everybody and in the same breath I will say I didn't think they were for me and I would wait forever for you.

Thomas:I would say long-distance is definitely the hardest relationship I've ever been in but at the same time I think it's the most rewarding. It's totally because of you, I don't think it's the relationship the long-distance part of it, I think it's you ultimately. I think it makes you I mean you can't just pop up like what most people take for granted we realize it’s a gift. Yesterday she went to go pick up a coat for her youngest and she's like do you want to go to the mall; no I don't want to go mall on Black Friday but it was an opportunity to go run an errand with her that I don't [Inaudible: 7:20]so I was like yeah, let’s go.

We're sitting there and she's like there's no, we’re stuck in traffic we’re in New York so you know traffic is crab and she's like you know what, I was getting frustrated and she just said there's no one I'd rather be stuck in traffic with and it immediately changed my position. I ‘m like, you're right. Most people, if you're stuck in traffic and they don't they're like you know great you're here with me but you know we're still stuck in traffic instead.

Jennifer:I'm happy to be stuck in traffic because he's in the car with me.

Thomas:We don't get to do that every day.

Kanu:You don’t get to do that every day, yeah.

Jennifer:No, not at all.

Thomas:I actually was excited that I got to buy feminine hygiene products for her because that's not something that I get to do. Another guy is going to be all pissy-pissy.

Jennifer:But you know what he says to me? He says I can't wait for the day that you call me up at work and say hey babe on the way home can you pick up a gallon of milk. That's what we're looking forward to, that conversation, that's what he says to me and so it's interesting because I really have learned to enjoy different aspects that I always took for granted.

I mean when we first see each other when he gets off the plane, we don't even need to touch each other or anything; just being in each other's space is in enough. I know that sounds completely crazy but I could just look at him and he's in 3d as opposed to 2d and so that is enough for me just to be in the space with him.

Thomas:To smell or you know the taste of her lips when we kiss for the first time I mean it is a gift to go through the struggles that we do. I mean I'm grateful for them but at the same time it suck but the thing is ultimately at the end of the day whenever I'm here. We're in year 10 of me being here in New York and I start to get you know, gosh she's always on my ass, I can actually turn around and go, you know what, I'm lucky.

Jennifer:I'll just put him on Skype again [Inaudible: 9:47].

Kanu:How long is the countdown now to where you guys would be together in New York?

Thomas:3 years.

Jennifer:2 ½ actually, we're getting to 2 ½. 

Kanu:Okay.

Thomas:We started at 6.

Kanu:Wow, well you're getting close.

Thomas:We're on the back side.

Kanu:Is the wedding happening before you move to New York?

Jennifer:2020.

Kanu:2020?

Jennifer:Yeah.

Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode, I really hope you enjoyed it. Do you have a love story or do you know somebody with a love story? If so, shoot me an email kanukayi@gmail.comPlease go to my YouTube channel Real Love Real Stories Podcast and subscribe and also follow me on Instagram and Facebook real love real stories. 

Till next time. 

 

Kanu Jacobsen