Episode 7: How Meeka used "The Secret" to get her Prince Charming

Episode Transcript - Sean and Meeka

Kanu: Welcome to real love real stories the podcast. A platform for couples to share their love stories and for singles to find hope. This is Kanu, I am the host. You are listening to episode number seven. I want to introduce my couple for this episode who are all the way in Canada, Sean and Meeka! Enjoy their love story.

Thank you very much Sean and Meeka for being a part of episode number seven and I wanted to welcome you guys to to the episode.

Meeka: Thank You

Sean: Thanks

Meeka: We're so glad to be here

Kanu: Yeah, no, thank you. So let's start off by you guys telling me how your love journey began. How did you meet?

Meeka: Well I think I'll start with the movie The Secret. I watched the movie The Secret and I was inspired to find the love of my life. So I started to make a list of all the things that I wanted in my prince charming and I put at the top, “My Prince Charming.” I then put all the traits and qualities that I wanted and I put it under my pillow and slept with this this person in every night.

Kanu: Aww

Meeka:  Yeah, about three weeks later I was out with some girlfriends for a Christmas party and the Christmas party was boring so we left and we went somewhere else and it was no good. We got in a taxi to go home and we realized we're all dressed up and we need to go somewhere. So we went to the local pub. We walked into the pub and I saw these two guys sitting at the table on the dance floor and started smiling and then I actually pointed my finger and went like this *come over gesture*

Kanu: To Sean?

Sean: Yeah so I’m there with one of my buddies and then we're you know, feeling sorry for ourselves, just sitting at a table watching the dance floor. Then all the sudden I see this girl like gesture. And I’m thinking there’s no way she’s pointing at us, and they she did it again and I was hitting my buddy’s shoulder saying “Hey that’s us, lets go!” So we ran up to the dance floor and starting dancing with them. That’s how we met.

Meeka: That's pretty much how we met.

Kanu: That's so cute! So this secret that you talked about, the movie “The Secret,” ‘where the energy flows where attention’ goes sort of thing?

Meeka: Yeah so um I discovered all Bob Proctor in that film and it just resonated completely with this gentleman's way of thinking and all of them Michael Beckworth- the funny thing is, what I think one of the best part of the story and can give so many people hope and inspiration, is that when, when the place was closing and the lights came on Sean and I were two of the last people there. All of our friends had been kind of kicked outside because the lights were on and the party was over. And we were waiting on coat check, we lost the ticket for the coat check and had to wait till everybody was gone. So we're standing inside, it’s nice and warm, it's December 16th and all of our friends are outside freezing and his friend popped his head into the door and says “Yo Prince Charming let's go.” And I looked at Sean and I was like what did he just call you? And he's like ‘oh that was my nickname from hockey I used to have long hair and everybody called me Prince Charming.’ I get  goosebumps like right now thinking about it. So we went and we went to Denny's and had some food at 4 a.m., then we played cards till 7 a.m. and we started dating and then we just fell in love. We've been together for almost 12 years now

Kanu: oh my god you just gave me goosebumps because you started off by mentioning it on your list of things that very top thing was prince charming.

Meeka: Yes

Kanu: And that's his nickname.

Meeka: That was his nickname. I got goosebumps too. We've shared this story with a few friends over the years- I've actually got three girlfriends, Sean knows them, that have all met their prince charming by making a list and putting it under their pillow.

Kanu: Oh my gosh, I love that. It's like is it Bob Proctor that talks about the universe saying if you want something, like you did just list out what you want and then the universe will provide. Is that sort of that same thinking?

Meeka: Absolutely. Yeah. Create what you focus on grows, where attention goes energy flows, all those commentary are all very true. It’s sometimes challenging to stay in that mindset because it's a slippery slope. You can start thinking about what you don't want and then all of a sudden that starts to come into your life. There's a lot about worthiness and feeling like I'm not worthy of this person and so then you know God, the universe, whatever you believe in says, ‘okay you're not worthy of this,’ so you don't get to have it. If you can stay in that that's mindset of being worthy and knowing what you want and really going after it and not settling. When I met Sean it was fireworks and our love story just was very special.

Kanu: Oh. So Sean, so she's calling for you and saying ‘you there,’ and then you turn around you like ‘me?’ and then you guys go over to dance. At what point did you ask for her number? Did you know you wanted to go out with her?

Sean: We just kind of happened. I don't think there's really a decision or anything like that. Everything just felt great. It turned out it turned out we only lived like a block apart.

Kanu: Are you serious?!

Meeka: Yes! So Sean offered to walk me home, he says ‘hey can I walk you home?’ And I grew up in downtown Toronto and I've never had such chivalry in my life. That was all part of the part of the prince charming. So we started walking and I was freezing, I mean I was in my little Christmas party dress and I said can we please get a cab and then it turned out we were living a block apart and it was like ‘wow we're so special’.

Kanu: That's so awesome. I’m getting goosebumps from hearing that. So how long did you date before you got engaged?

Sean: Three years.

Kanu: Three years?

Meeka: Two years.

Sean: right - sorry two years.

Meeka: Tell them your clever plan.

Sean: My clever plan? Well we had a trip to Cuba. So we met on December 16th and then so our trip to Cuba fell on that week as well. So at this point, I wanted to ask Meeka to marry me and I called her dad a couple weeks before a month or something and ask is that his permission. So we're in in Cuba and the 16th was like right in the middle of the trip. So I was not exactly relaxed for the first half of the trip. I think it was a Wednesday…

Meeka: Yeah

Sean: And so that's the evening that I proposed and it worked out. I was like ok perfect, sixteenth will be the same day that we met, same day that I proposed and keep everything lined up so not to know only got one day to remember.

Meeka: And then when did we get married?

Sean: We got married on the sixteenth as well. That was definitely planned.

Kanu: That was fantastic! So you wait, 16th of December or 16th of

a different month?

Sean & Meeka: December.

Kanu: So you met on December 16th, two years later December 16th you proposed Sean and then a year later you got married December 16th?

Meeka: Yeah

Kanu: That's fantastic! Oh my goodness the whole story just gives me goosebumps hearing about the Prince Charming nickname, to the dates all sort of lined up. That's really awesome. So where was the wedding? Was it in Canada or did you-

Sean: Oh we went to Cuba again for the wedding.

Kanu: So you proposed in Cuba and then you went back for the for the wedding?

Sean: Yeah. Most of Meeka's family is back in Toronto and Montreal and most my family and friends were out here in BC, Vancouver and Kamloops and around. So we decided that for either side to go to one side of the country or the other you're gonna be spending as much or more for only you know like maybe two or three days right and for us to take a whole week to go on vacation which is probably less money for people.

Meeka: And it was December! Yeah it was a forced vacation for most people. But it was a dream wedding it really was. An absolute dream wedding

Kanu: Yeah. So have you gone back to Cuba? Like do you go back? Do you plan to go back for future anniversaries? This is like a special place for you guys now.

Meeka: Yeah, we've been seeing we're gonna go back quite a bit. But we seem to go everywhere else though. Probably next year will be our 10th wedding anniversary and so I would think maybe that would be a good time to go.

Sean: Maybe.

Meeka: We're talking about Europe too so we'll see.

Kanu:  Yeah, see which one wins. That's awesome. So what qualities about each other do you like? Let's start with you Sean. What qualities about Meeka do you like?

Sean: Everything.

Meeka: That’s a good answer.

Sean: I like her energy is always infectious and contagious. She just lights everything up all the time and she's beautiful.

Meeka: What else?

Sean: So many. Smart, intelligent, she's so caring, so giving, she's my biggest cheerleader.

Kanu: I’m just going to say for I'm just gonna say for iTunes people that will be  listening in without seeing you guys, the way you look at each other, there's just lots of love. I just I love seeing that.

Meeka: We wish that for everybody it's possible you know.

With Sean what I love the most about him is his heart. He's just he's got such a huge heart and an incredible example of integrity you know like he's just so got so much integrity and ethics and values. The fundamentals for us are really in alignment and he has patience, I didn't grow up with a lot of patience around me and Sean is the most patient human being I've ever met. He creates space for me to to do what I want to do and then supports me all the way through it. I mean it doesn't matter what I choose to do if I want to paint or I want to sing or I want to be a bartender or I want to be a pilot, Sean will just support me all the way through it. Your patience and your support is just unbelievable, unwavering and unconditional love. I've never felt unconditional love consciously in my life until Sean. I feel like not that I can do no wrong, but if I do wrong or make a mistake there's always forgiveness and and just love. He appreciates me, the little things and he's one of those men that helps with everything. He always opens my car door he goes with the flow all the time. I get to play whatever music I want on the radio. If I placed in Cyndi Lauper and sang at the top of my lungs, he's gonna be smiling. I think a he's a dream guy for me, I see till death do us part with smiles for sure because he's my soulmate.

Sean: Yeah. We’re like best friends

Meeka: Yeah. If I want to rescue an animal and bring it home, he's okay with it. I bring home strays all the time. I've got my crazy bird feeders and plants and I'm nurturing everything everywhere and he's so patient of that.

Kanu: Yeah. That's so nice. I can tell there’s really some beautiful love between the two of you for sure. So I even hate to ask this question, so on the flip side of that what, is there an annoying quality about each other that you deal with?

Meeka: Yeah. I better go first because you might say nothing and now maybe you'll start thinking about it. I think the only annoying thing is... I wouldn't say annoying, more like challenging is that he is so patient that if he's annoyed with something or doesn't like something I don't think you speak up about it. You just let it go and that scares me that those let it go moments will build up to like this big explosion someday because you're just so patient. So yeah and I think it's a man/woman thing, often that women love to communicate, express emotion. I want to know what you're thinking all the time and Sean’s in the ‘nothing box,’ a nothing box thinking about nothing.

Sean: That’s true. But there’s nothing wrong with the nothing box.

Meeka: That's the only thing I would say annoying. When I want to know what you're thinking or what you're feeling and you're like “I’m good, I’m fine.”

How about you?

Sean: Um...

Meeka: Come on. This is the perfect opportunity for me to learn something.

Kanu: She's absolutely perfect. Is that what I'm hearing Shawn?

Sean: Pretty much. Or maybe, okay. So we're deciding whether last night. There's always kind of a push and pull between, she always likes to stay up late and I'm more of a morning person. So there's always a push and pull she's trying to keep me up later and I'm trying to go to bed. Then she won't get up in the morning

Meeka: This is true.

Kanu: Yes so your thing is that she stays up late and as a result you stay up late, but you're a morning person so you're not able to get up in the morning.

Sean: Sometimes, yeah.

Kanu: Yeah that's awesome. Well thank you for sharing. So what would you say the secret to your relationship is? Like what makes it work because it doesn't even sound like you guys fight.

Sean: Not much. I mean we’ll have disagreements sure, yeah. I think it's just we're always, not necessarily right away, but we'll get to the other person's perspective. Yeah, I think just understanding communication comes out eventually. I'm not always the best at communication.

Kanu: It sounds like communication is.  You said you're not the best sometimes, but it sounds like that's what sort of keeps  your relationship going.

Sean: Yeah.

Kanu: That's awesome. So Meeka, can we talk about your idea. I want to do that too because I am a huge fan of the secret and I've done the secret for my business, my life goals and everything except for relationship. Which is kind of funny because that's one of the things that I'm like I want. What would you say to somebody single like me was looking and perhaps wants to do what you did? What sort of process can I go through to do what you did?

Meeka: Yeah it depends on how far down the rabbit hole you want to go.

Well Les Brown says “Shoot for the moon and you might land on the stars.” So you think about the core fundamentals of what's really important. A lot of times people might focus on what they don't want and unfortunately that's what they attract. So you make a list of all the things that you do want. Starting with family, do you want somebody that wants a family or do you want someone that already has children. What things are important to you? Are political beliefs or religion important to you? That they be a certain you know have a certain following a certain belief. Get the fundamentals straight for yourself, then you can seek that in your partner. Things like an early riser, you have to aim for everything. Do you want someone that's taller you, someone that loves to smile loves to laugh. Are you more of an introvert, you know Sunday mornings do you prefer to sit on the couch in a read good book or do you want someone that's going to jump out of bed and go on a crazy hike and do triathlons. You don't have to have all of these things in common, it's really important to have three relationships, the one with yourself each and then the one together. But you might as well start to really recognize what's important to you.  Housing individuals so that you can attract the person to to do those things with. What do you think?

Sean: I think just being like all the things that you said and at the same time also being open to not necessarily… He may not look exactly like what you wanted. But just being open.

Meeka: So there is laughter behind there. I’ll tell them that part. Okay so when we started talking and getting to know each other, I asked Shawn what does he do and he said,

Sean: At the time I was doing door to door sales.

Meeka: And I said no really what do you? It turns out it was because he just spent a year exchange in Japan and did a bunch of traveling and came back right out of university and wanted to get back on the ground running doing something. That's when I met him and so I really didn't believe him that was not on my list. There's an idea of maybe marrying somebody that's financially secure, super wealthy or whatever the case may be. As Sean said, be open to that you know maybe looking a little bit different because we've created our success together completely. It's been a great journey. So know exactly what you want and then be open to it not maybe out looking the same.

Kanu: Yeah that’s awesome. So Sean I know that Meeka said she had a list, so did you have an idea of who you were looking for? Did you have a list?

Sean: Not anything like consciously I guess. I just kind of knew what the type of person that I wanted to be with and she filled pretty much everything there. I didn’t have a list. I definitely had to align with my values and personality.

Kanu: Yeah so that night did you have an idea, where you're looking or where you're just hanging out with your friends?

Sean: No I wasn't looking but I mean-

Meeka: Aren’t guys always kind of looking

Sean: Well… I mean I know there is that my something special for sure. We weren't going looking for that. It was a “let's go and have fun.”

Meeka: We definitely weren't at the bar that night to meet our partners.

Kanu: Its when you least expect it that it happens right?

Meeka: Yeah sometimes.

Kanu: So do you guys have any terms of endearment for each other?

Sean & Meeka:  Babe.

Kanu: Both of you guys call each other babe?

Meeka: Yeah. If we have a disagreement, Sean came up with this great idea many many years ago. In the early years of dating, we have a word we haven't had to use it for a long time but Sean found a word that if we're having a disagreement or you know we just don't agree on something and the energy starting to go south we used it.  What's the word?

Sean: Purple-monkey-dishwasher.

Meeka: That’s our neutral word. In stronger moments of consciousness of groundedness or forgiveness or whatever it is, that's the word we use. We really haven't used that in years.

Kanu: But it’s there if you need it.

Meeka: I think it's important as you're escalating in a discussion to have an out like an exit strategy. Have a word that you simply cannot say without smirking because that's a really good chance to neutralize the energy. I think the phrase is from The Simpsons.

Sean: Yeah the phrase is but isn't Tony Robbins… what's he call it?

Meeka: Oh yeah yeah, interruption.

Sean: Interruption is the term for it.

Meeka: That's another theme. Sean and I are hugely into personal development. If one person is growing and the other person isn't, it's inevitable that you just grow so far apart. It's so important that you're in alignment with the growth. We've done so many classes and courses just to stay on track and we even have counselor. That because we all come with our stuff and I have stuff from my childhood that comes up in our marriage that's not Sean’s fault at all. It’s my stuff, my history, belief systems that were created very early in my life that can come into the relationship that may not be beneficial. Sean's got a few things too and to realize that we don't, it's not fair to the other person to consistently bring that stuff out and put it on them when it's really got nothing to do with them. So we started to see somebody that I studied with years ago.  We see him sometimes every few months and sometimes we'll go two years without seeing him. We're just knowing that he's there we can go into this neutral space and share what's on our heart and on our minds and sort through and have this third person be there to explain why we might be feeling a certain way and take the blame off of the other person. It has been really great, I really encourage anybody to go. There could be a stigma attached to that relationship counselling or whatever it is you know that you want to call it, but if you've got somebody really good that you trust it's it's so great you always know we've got that if if anything happens. Because life throws curveballs all the time.

Sean: Yeah I really get back to like sports. You know the best athletes in the world have coaches, I want to have the best marriage in the world so we would have a coach. But there's that new or has been negative stigmatism.

Kanu: I like the way you put it in in terms of you know the best athletes need a coach, why not a relationship you know a therapist as well. So speaking from a person who's a trained therapist, I strongly support that as well. That's a really good point so I want to put it out there to those people that would be listening to this episode to say, let's do a challenge with those that are single to write down the perfect partner with a man or woman. Write down the perfect partner put it together and then you know when people meet that said person like sort of how you guys met, to you know reach out and share with you guys. Just share their stories with you guys to to say ‘this is what we did after listening to this episode and you know we met our prospective partners.’  I’m going to do that too so I'm gonna be one of those people for sure.

I want to take this time to just say thank you so much. I know you have busy lives and I'm so excited to have been able to chat with you guys all the way from Canada and I really appreciate your support in this. Again thank you so much folks for taking time to chat with me this morning.

Meeka: Thank you

Sean: Thank you

Meeka: You're absolutely delightful. You host a fantastic show, you ask really great questions and you've engaged us. Thank you. People who fall on your show are very fortunate. We'll be sure to share. Remember when you're making your list to put it under your pillow that's the trick.

Kanu: I will keep you in the loop of what's happening for sure. Or you find out from the episodes because I'm gonna be talking about it I until I meet my mr. right. One day I will do my own love story. Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode. I really hope you enjoyed it. Do you have a love story or do you know somebody with a love story? If so, shoot me an email at kanukayi@gmail.com please go to my youtube channel Real Love Real Stories The Podcast and subscribe and also follow me on Instagram and Facebook at Real Love real Stories. Till next time!

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